Comical Canadian Crime Capers

Posted 1st April 2019 by Dave Cross
Owners of The Flamingo Vape Store chain in Canada are appealing for assistance in identifying thieves. The business has posted a reward worth over £1000 for information leading to the arrest of the inept pair depicted in an entertaining video.

The video captured from several CCTV cameras shows a couple breaking in to a Winnipeg branch of the Flamingo Vape chain. It happened on 11th March at just gone one o’clock in the morning.

The voiceover to the video calls the pair “idiots”, and asks: “What kind of idiot wears a high visibility jacket to a robbery? Whatever happened to the classic all-black?”

It shows the high-viz idiot scrambling around behind the counter looking for things when all of the high value stock was clearly on the shelves around the store.

Then the woman is shown attempting to lug around a test rack full of used zero-nic juice, clearly clueless. This is reflected in the pitiful haul.

“They’re very nice acrylic stands, but I don’t see what use she’d have for them,” adds the voiceover. “My favourite part about this is the fact that she was stealing empty boxes!”

Items stolen:

  • Acer R11 Chromebook with Okami Wolf stickers (No charger)
  • Safe, Cash register
  • Apple iPad Space Grey 32GB
  • Purge mods WITHOUT cases
  • Suicide queen (Brass+Red bands) Serial number: 471
  • Back to Basic brass
  • Knurled Truck brass
  • Pandora blue (Brass+Blue bands) Serial number: 277
  • SMOK G-priv 2 kits, red-x2 gold-x1
  • SMOK X-priv kit silver -x1

The man is described as approximately 5'10"-6' tall, 230 pounds, wearing a yellow high vis jacket, sweat pants and black running shoes. His female assistant is described as having “knock-knees” and being around 5'6"-5'8”, approximately 300 pounds, wearing black Ugg boots, and a black Jacket.

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 Dave Cross
Article by Dave Cross
Freelance writer, physicist, karateka, dog walker