Satan’s Vapes

Posted 17th April 2019 by Dave Cross
Brother Werks of The Revelations of Jesus Christ ministry is issuing vapers a message, a warning, that vaping was created by Satan. Many of us only thought that vaping offered a way out of cigarette use and to reduce the exposure to tobacco-related harm. Turns out that this is just what The Illuminati want us to think.

With the Easter Bank Holiday approaching, Werks offers a timely warning: “The demonic realm is real. Don’t stop the video and watch it anyway. There’s evil spirits that will try to get you not to listen to me.”

He asks: “How far back does it really go, how ancient is this practise? Historians have dated it all the way back to the 5th century. People would heat up herbs and oils on hot stones and vape and inhale as they worshipped demon gods.”

“In the 1500s it began to spread to the Middle East and India, and that’s when they started the first hookah. You know it seems like yesterday when cigarettes were the dominant way of smoking. But why vaping? What is the agenda? What is the motive? Who are they trying to aim this new practise at?”

“You see, brothers and sisters, you can not be ignorant of the devil’s devices. You can not be completely oblivious to the trends going on, the things going on, so you have an idea of what you’re up against – and know how to warn people.”

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“So when the lord started to speak to me, to investigate these matters, god will send us on missions so we can warn you. We are watchmen on the wall.”

“Candy Vapes for the kids: You ever noticed the flavours they’re coming out with and making it look so harmless. It’s an old witchcraft move, the old switcheroo. All the youth are smoking it in the bathrooms – it’s everywhere. Bubble gum flavour, banana split flavour, cherry pie flavour. You can clearly see that the devil has aimed it to the youth and the children on purpose.”

He plays a video expressing misleading warnings from the American Lung Association and dismissing advice from Public Health England. It claims vaping causes popcorn lung and means vapers have to have lung transplants.

“One of the things the devil is trying to do is alter people’s DNA so bad that god rejects them because they are no longer his creation. This goes back to the days of Noah and I’m not going to get into it right now.”

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Werks recounts a chat with his barber where he explained he could stop someone falling off a cliff but they’d still get hurt if he then pushed them into a street. This, Brother Werks say, is all part of the Illuminati’s plan.

So there you have it – the science on vaping may be pretty good (albeit not conclusive) at this time, but if you fear the devil then maybe you should opt for a different cessation method.

 Dave Cross
Article by Dave Cross
Freelance writer, physicist, karateka, motorbikes, and dog walker
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