Protect and Duck and Cover and Survive
POTV has seen a secret booklet prepared by the Food and Drug Administration advising people how to respond to the vaping “epidemic”
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by Dave Cross
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Like all reputable news providers, we refuse to name the source that leaked us this draft copy. All we can say is his name rhymes with Bimon Fapewell, and that he has been working deep undercover in the tobacco control fraternity. He has had to go above and beyond in portraying himself as stupid – in order to remain beyond question from his peers – and we salute his efforts.
The booklet covers a number of topics, all dealt with in typical anti-vape fashion. Worse, it has uncovered some of our deep secrets (like that we all get paid by tobacco companies). Somehow they have unearthed the original Juul Labs launch adverts too; they’ve stood the test of time well and really ought to be used again.
We believe it’s important to carry the booklet in full, in the public interest. You may wish to share the images on social media in order to shame the FDA into withdrawing plans to print and distribute it.
Dave Cross
Journalist at POTVDave is a freelance writer; with articles on music, motorbikes, football, pop-science, vaping and tobacco harm reduction in Sounds, Melody Maker, UBG, AWoL, Bike, When Saturday Comes, Vape News Magazine, and syndicated across the Johnston Press group. He was published in an anthology of “Greatest Football Writing”, but still believes this was a mistake. Dave contributes sketches to comedy shows and used to co-host a radio sketch show. He’s worked with numerous vape companies to develop content for their websites.
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