Vacancy To Become A Rioter

Posted 12th July 2022 by Dave Cross
 Vacancy To Become A Rioter lead image
Riot E-liquid have capitalised on the recent disturbance in the UK government by appealing for a minister to work for them to promote vaping to the World Health Organisation. Addressing Sajid Javid directly, Riot have pleaded with him to apply to support their goal of achieving a smoke-free world.

Last week, Javid resigned from Boris Johnson’s administration and was replaced by former chief of staff Steve Barclay.

Barclay said: “It is an honour to take up the position of Health and Social Care Secretary. Our NHS and social care staff have showed us time and again - throughout the pandemic and beyond - what it means to work with compassion and dedication to transform lives.”

Steve Barclay has a history of being resistant to more spending on the NHS.

Following this, appearing on Riot’s Twitter and Linkdn accounts, a message said: “NEW ROLE ALERT!

“We're hiring a HEAD OF PUBLIC HEALTH to support the use of e-cigarettes and help achieve a smoke-free world. One for you @sajidjavid #publichealth #smokefree #ecigarette”.

Royal Flush Vape

The advert addresses Mr Javid directly and says: “We know you’re now jobless after leaving that jobsworth. The timing is perfect. Riot Labs are hiring for an exciting new role to help achieve a smoke-free world. The e-cigarette industry’s first ever Head of Public Health.”

Referencing the recent events in Downing Street, Riot continues: “We know you don’t back Boris but you do back e-cigarettes as a means to quit smoking so you’re the perfect man for the job.”

Riot lists out the job spec:

  • A figurehead with an actual backbone to campaign for e-cigarettes in the UK and International markets
  • Experience in developing and implementing strategies to achieve a smoke-free world by 2030
  • A willingness to expose more liars and leverage your contacts at the WHO to change their anti e-cigarette stance and policy
  • Oversee Riot Labs quit smoking campaign including the Riot Rehab Bus tour and out unique R.I.O.T. 4-step quit smoking plan

The lucky successful candidate will apparently waltz away with “enough [salary] to purchase golden wallpaper like Boris and Carrie”, plus travel expenses and dental cover.

Are you thinking of applying?

The Electronic Cigarette Company

 Dave Cross
Article by Dave Cross
Freelance writer, salad destroyer and live culture convert.
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