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Bit of humour to brighten the day

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by ianleeds, May 22, 2017.

  1. Kaktai

    Kaktai Achiever

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    Q/ Why is Peter Pan always flying?
    A/ Because he neverlands.

    (I like this joke because
    it never grows old...)
     
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  2. Flipside

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    What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.
     
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  3. Flipside

    Flipside Postman

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    What's the difference between my ex and the titanic? The titanic only went down on 1,000 people.
     
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  4. Flipside

    Flipside Postman

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    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
     
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  5. Kaktai

    Kaktai Achiever

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    Q: Why do dwarves make bad parents?
    A: They struggle to put food on the table.
     
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  6. Kaktai

    Kaktai Achiever

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    Q Who lives at number 664?
    A The neighbour of the beast.
     
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  7. Kaktai

    Kaktai Achiever

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    I just bought a Jehovah's Witness
    advent calendar.

    Every time you open a door
    someone tells you to f#ck off.
     
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  8. Kaktai

    Kaktai Achiever

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    I went to the doctor for a check
    up. He said, "How many times a
    week do you masturbate, roughly?"

    "Never". I answered. "I always
    do it gently."
     
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  9. Kaktai

    Kaktai Achiever

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    I've just watched the Derby
    round at my hairdressers.

    The race was OK, but the
    highlights were better.
     
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  10. Kwisatz Haderach

    Kwisatz Haderach Achiever

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    A teacher asked her class to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third spoke up, "We are all human beans."

    It's the way I tell em.
     
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