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The medicinal joke only thread

Discussion in 'The Dark Side of the Moon' started by Donald Trump's fister, Sep 2, 2018.

  1. 3dj

    3dj Veteran

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    I am a good doctor about to be struck off just for having sex with one of my patients. Ten fucking years of training down the drain. The British Veterinary Council are cunts.
     
    • LOL LOL x 2
  2. burnt fingers

    burnt fingers Achiever

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    First the doctor told me the good news.
    I was going to have a disease named after me.
     
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  3. wraith

    wraith Achiever

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    "I had a patient in this morning with a pumpkin lodged in an orifice."
    "Rectum?"
    "Damn near killed 'im."
     
    • LOL LOL x 2
  4. burnt fingers

    burnt fingers Achiever

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    My family is pretty much gallows humour or die . When I was having a little bother in the hospital my mother called me.
    .. " so son what's wrong then"..
    .."liver and kidneys mum.. Shut down and I am turning as yellow as a Simpson".
    .. " bad luck lad all that being teetotal was a bit of a waste eh hahaha"
    " oh haha...I am gonna pay a nurse to hold my middle finger up at you if you come visit."


    I survived that and some years later got my revenge.

    "Hey mum, hear you have the cancerous fanny rot "

    "yeah they gonna cut me open like gralloching deer and pressure wash me out "

    "well that sounds promising mum .. I am sure you will be fine but, I just got the new porsche brochure before I called, have those BP shares of yours picked up a bit since deep-water or am I looking at the Cayman not the 911?"

    " haha you little cunt . Well as it is my dream to outlive all 3 of my sons especially you, I have already left your share to a donkey sanctuary ..maybe they will let you ride one on Saturdays "
     
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  5. Ment

    Ment Legend

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    That reminds me of my best mate who had a similar sense of humour.

    I called him to tell him my younger sister had died and he responded "You won't be coming to the quiz night tonight then?"
     
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  6. Donald Trump's fister

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    Bloke goes to his doctor and tells him he's got a strawberry stuck up his arse,
    Doctor says , really ? .... i've got some cream for that :18:
     
    • LOL LOL x 2

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