I've let myself down again.

[Astral]

Sorry to come on here and emote so publicly but I've let myself down again and need to get it out of my system.

I received the result of a bad blood test on Wednesday and found myself back on the Number 1's and dosing myself up on Diazepam, and spent much of the next two days asleep.

My liver numbers and white blood cell count went bad again and I'm living in fear of another recall to hospital.

This would be the fifth time in just over a year and I really don't want to go through it again.

I suspected it was coming but that didn't make it any easier.

I'm just hoping the next one in ten days time is better and I can avoid it.

Sorry once again for posting my woes on here, I'm not looking for sympathy, I just wanted to write something somewhere, and I'll get back to the vaping stuff again now. I've got my head together again today and am feeling much better.

No more smokes for me.

Thanks everyone.

May peace, blessings and prosperity be with you all.

 

[Jd_]

May peace, blessings and prosperity be with you all.

 

[u8myufo]

We all deal with things in different ways pal, not sure what probs you have with your liver but either way I am sure you will be in the right hands to help you get through it all. I know it`s always too easy to say this to people without knowing what you have to deal with, but try and stay strong mentally

 

[andipandi]

It's understandable that you wouldn't want to go back into hospital, here's hoping it all pans out and you can relax nicely at home

 

[Jonty]

With you All the way Astral, life sucks sometimes but your amongst friends, keep strong and enjoy a good chain vape xxx

 

[DeeDee aka (Pod Queen)]

Hey Astral

Firstly sending u a huge hug.

I am sorry you are going through a shit worrying time. I do understand why you wouldn't want to go back to H especially atm. Fingers crossed the results are better next time.
Keep yourself as healthy as possible, thats all u can do. Yeas u had a few bad days but they are now gone, u said u feel better today which is great.

We are here, vent as much as u want, i know it helps many people (including myself) to just let out some feelings.

No judgement ever from me, trust me ive done worse on bad days lol

 

[Astral]

Thanks for the support everybody, it's much appreciated.

Thankfully I am feeling much more optimistic about things today, but that doesn't mean I've gained any control over my internal organs. They'll just have to do what they do.

I've had some near misses in the past and hopefully this will be the same.

The doctors are more reluctant to recall me at the moment too. Hospital really isn't the place for someone with a compromised immune system at the moment for obvious reasons.

Much love to you all.

 

[DeeDee aka (Pod Queen)]

Thanks for the support everybody, it's much appreciated.

Thankfully I am feeling much more optimistic about things today, but that doesn't mean I've gained any control over my internal organs. They'll just have to do what they do.

I've had some near misses in the past and hopefully this will be the same.

The doctors are more reluctant to recall me at the moment too. Hospital really isn't the place for someone with a compromised immune system at the moment for obvious reasons.

Much love to you all.

Much Love Back! Pleased u r in a better head space.
Im meant to be meeting with some old work colleagues later. I really want to see them but cannot be arsed to go, I've had a shit week, still feel shit tbh. Doesn't help that i stayed up till 3am watching "How to get away with Murder" lol

Anyway have a good day x

 

[ForestMagpie]

Hi @Astral I'm really sorry for your woes and nobody wants to go into hospital especially at this time so I hope it doesn't end up that way and the next results are more positive. Please do not feel bad about venting on here at all, it's what we are here for and as a community we are here for you and will support you through this. I hope you are much better and brighter soon.
As for @DeeDee makes you wonder if she's just getting tips for murder and if she has someone in particular in mind

 

[DeeDee aka (Pod Queen)]

Hi @Astral I'm really sorry for your woes and nobody wants to go into hospital especially at this time so I hope it doesn't end up that way and the next results are more positive. Please do not feel bad about venting on here at all, it's what we are here for and as a community we are here for you and will support you through this. I hope you are much better and brighter soon.
As for @DeeDee makes you wonder if she's just getting tips for murder and if she has someone in particular in mind

Haha yeah I do actually.........i have a keen dislike for Forest supporters LOL
Beware Mr FM

U know i loves u really though right.

On a serious note though im addicted to that series. Only started it this week, love it!